Ask any person who stutter, and they will tell you we are constantly interrupted. Any slight repetition or block results in a $10,000 Pyramid-style guessing game. As the person who stutters gets out, “p-p-p”, the fluent counterpart guesses everything from pizza to pumpernickel bread. If people who did not stutter just waited patiently, people did stutter would be able to get out our thoughts and ideas. Granted the ideas aren’t always “brilliant” but let’s set the bar high because certainly Hollywood movies have not! The media usually presents us as less intelligent or anti-social killers.
For me, I have been interrupted. It’s just not when I am ordering ethnic food and the waitress mistakes my stutter as mispronouncing the food I am ordering. Instead it has been as a stutterer interrupted in my own development as a person. I bought into the language standards of the dominant culture and consequently, I was willingly to silence myself. I went to extremes to “pass” as a person who did not stutter. What resulted was compromising myself, my persona and subsequently, my personal growth and development (especially as a woman). These compromises were intensified by a learning disability and internalized as a map for who I am and what I deserve. This has resulted in an internalized fight that has continued throughout my life.
Allow me to bring this back down to earth, away from the intellectualisms that defend against the sadness I have in reflecting on these experiences. And what better way to do that then say, my 8th grade sucked donkey dick.
MORE TO COME….If you have ideas of larger venues to publish this then my humble blog, please let me know.